Let me just start off by saying- who the f*ck let me like someone again??

LIKE REALLY (honestly, when I like someone, I get so clingy and annoying, ugh). It gets to the point where I even want to tell myself to shut up.

You know, it’s not like I woke up one day and decided I was going to catch feelings. Because if that was the case, I would of run so far away from it. Anything relatively close to “love” scares me. You think I want to get my heart broken?

HELL to the NO.

All y’all hopeless romantics out there will tell me I’m being too cautious. You’ll say: oh, just go with the flow, don’t be afraid to fall in love.

Well. I call bullshit.

You know what love gets you?

A tad bit of happiness, and a whole lot of sadness when it ends.

I’m not being bitter.

(okay… maybe just a tad bit)

I was in a relationship for close to 3 years. It was great. Sucky at times, but overall a great experience. I learned so much from that relationship, but eventually I needed to call it quits.

I had this urge to find myself, alone.

I wanted to come to know my niche, my likes, my dislikes, my hopes and dreams. I wanted to be able to chase them with confidence. To take stands, advocate, and actively engage and contribute to things I believe in.

I did not want this long awaited season of actualization to be influenced by anyone or anything other than my organic self.

I’m thankful for the space I created, and the boundaries I put in place that allowed me to grow and find my place in this crazy thing we are gifted called life. It has ushered in opportunities of growth and challenges that come with experiencing life alone.

At this point, I’ve been single for close to a year. My ex and I are on good terms. I do wish him the best, and I will appreciate him forever.

Although, a month or two ago I would’ve claimed that we would be getting back together, but, then the unexpected happened.

I met her.

I met the most genuine, thoughtful, beautiful human.

I didn’t even know someone could be so caring.

I dislike myself for already liking her so much.

Its barely been two weeks, and I find myself thinking about her every chance I get.

Like… who am I?

Who is this girl smiling in the corner of a coffee shop, writing a freaking blog post about this amazing girl she only recently met?

Oh hey, that would be me.

Who am I becoming?

I’m so drawn to her. Everything about her. Her smile, her laugh, her f*cking gorgeous ass eyes.

Don’t even get me started on her style (which is 100% great btw- if you can dress well, I’m automatically more interested).

Her presence just lights up a room. She has this positive energy that just radiates, and I can’t help but love that about her.

I hope this leads to something good.

I am not sure what the future holds. I am not even sure if she will be in it, but I do hope she is.

Whether she is my lover or a friend, I hope to have her positivity in my life.

This is a whole new chapter in the life of Kelsey.

All I have to say is, move over y’all. This girl has me whooped.

already.

damn.

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