love [ luhv ]
• a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
•a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as
for a parent, child, or friend.
• sexual passion or desire.
Throughout my 20 (short) years of life here on Earth, I have learned a lot about love. I have been a witness to the joy that love brings. I have seen my mom happily in love. I’ve seen her smile and I’ve heard her laughs. I was raised in such a loving home, and not a day would pass when my mom wouldn’t smoother my brother and I with affection.
I remember laying in my bed and hoping I would find a love as precious as the love my mom and I shared. I craved love. I wanted so desperately to find someone to love me.
Then I fell in love.
My 16 year old self fell head over heels for someone. I loved and I was loved in return.
I learned a lot from that first relationship.
I learned what my heart was capable of. I learned that love is an overwhelmingly powerful emotion. But, even after that relationship ended, I still felt that there was a lot about love that I did not know.
As I wandered around in the world, as a single emerging young woman, I attempted to find love again.
Yet, I made mistakes, as every 20 something year old does.
I fooled myself into letting others enter my body in hopes that they would make me feel whole- in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I would feel a connection close to love again.
But my mistake was not looking for love within myself.
I needed to find the goodness inside of me first.
As I begun to see the light inside myself, I felt myself become someone happier.
I started doing things that I loved. I started doing things for me.
I took myself on dates. I bought myself things. I finally started to see the beauty inside of me.
Once I fully started to love me, and who I was becoming, that’s when I found love again.
I found her.
The sweetest soul.
An individual with a heart so pure.
I didn’t even know someone like that even existed.
Just when I wasn’t looking, she came into my life and altered my whole perspective on love and life.
She swooped in and demanded I love her in the right way.
She has taught me the beauty of love again.
She has taught me the true meaning of what love is.
She has taught me how I should be loved and how I should love others.
As I learn and grow to be a better lover, I keep my past experiences with me.
I know they help and mold me into the lover I wish to be.
Everyday that passes I will work on loving her. I want to love her in a way that no one ever has.
I want to show and prove to her that she is worthy of all the love in the world.
She is so special.
I do not know how I was so lucky to find her, but I am glad I did.
Everyday on forward, I will love and continue to learn about love. I will become an individual so full of love, that maybe one day my heart will be as happy and humble as hers.
P.S. I love you, my girl. I promise I will do my best to love you in the right way.